Understanding El Dorado

Before I came to work at the El Dorado News-Times this January, people told me to expect something different. By that they meant the people who live in this town of more than 25,000 and the way things work here.

To appreciate the city, you have to immerse yourself in the culture, meet the people and have an open mind. This is the kind of town where you are just as likely to see a bum redneck who hasn’t shaved in three weeks as you are an oil tycoon in a bright red 2006 Porsche. I see both every day. And the closer you get to Murphy Oil’s headquarters, the nicer the town gets, too.

For those who don’t know, Murphy is a multi-million dollar oil company with oil interests across the globe. They, along with the Lion Oil refinery, are one of the largest corporations in the region.

I expected their headquarters to look a little different, though. I figured it would be a glass office tower, much like the Stephen's building in Little Rock, but smaller. It looks more like a Hilton Hotel, with a round driveway that lets you drive right up to the front door and park under a large awning.

I guess this is so the big guys can roll up in their super-strech Benz limos. Who knows?

El Dorado is so heavily steeped in its oil and money culture that the town has become two separate towns in one. There is the high society end, with stately homes larger than the White House (trust me on this) that would put all the Mc-Mansions in Little Rock’s Chenal Valley to shame. And inside these modern day plantations there are Picassos, Monets and all sorts of valuable art — it’s truly a hidden mecca.

But on the other side of town, away from the glitz of Mercedes-laden garages and jeweled fingers of rich oil heiresses, is the real story of this city. The people who make this part of our state run live here. They have modest, and sometimes rundown, dilapidated homes, and a mountain of debt they used to secure their automobiles and send their children to college.

And if you aren’t from here, everyone wants to know why you came. See, these people are proud to be from El Dorado, but they can’t imagine why anyone would want to come here to live or work. The truth is, the newspaper is the only reason I’m here. In the newspaper industry, it doesn’t matter what town you're in as long as the publication you're working for is respectable.

As they say in the business, “I’m in it for the clips.” But I do enjoy it here, and everyone has been really nice so far. I’ll make it a little while longer, I think.

Redneck chic

I don't know why I've been on a redneck kick lately. I guess it started the other day when I saw the words "I'm a redneck" etched on the back glass of a pickup in the newspaper parking lot. For those of you who don't know, I'm in South Arkansas, a.k.a. redneck central. Usually I don't mind; I can hang with the best of them, make them feel at home without condescension.

After all, I grew up in East Texas, where cow patties outnumber people two to one. I hope I didn't offend any good Texans out there, that surely wasn't my intention. I just have a hard time believing that people actually want to embrace stupidity. That they want the word "redneck" emblazoned on them like the red badge of courage.

Oh well, it makes good fodder for places like this blog. If you want a good laugh sometime, go to Google's image section and type in "redneck." You will be amazed at what you find. There's a naked, beer-bellied 50-something on front porch commode, a school bus with a single-wide trailer tacked on its chassis and a host of other treasures from the proud purveyors of all things uncouth.

Hot damn, I love the South.

More than 40 hours in Wal-Mart, so what?

There's an article floating around the Internet about a Harvard student who spent more than 40 hours meandering around a Wal-Mart Supercenter. Sounds like no big deal, right? Well, the national media, oh how I love them (gag), has made this kid some kind of uber celebrity just because he kept his eyelids open for more than 40 hours inside the Chinese consulate, er, I mean Wal-Mart.

There is even news that this kid might get a book deal or movie script out of his stunt. How is that possible? Legitimate journalists like myself work hard every day pouring out real news, and this college kid does something stupid and can land a book and movie deal.

Sort of makes you want to give up on the whole system, but what fun would that be? I just think it's absurd that this event is receiving so much coverage. And look, I am giving it coverage, too. But at least I didn't name the kid or give further details. You can find that yourself.

Hogskin Holidays

Many Hampton residents will tell you straight forward that there isn’t much reason to visit their community if you don’t have friends or loved ones there. The town, population 1,529, only has one stoplight, and short of a few mom and pop stores downtown there aren’t many shopping opportunities. The Calhoun County seat doesn’t even have a Wal-Mart — a staple for just about any small Southern town.

The lack of amenities doesn’t seem to bother Hampton residents, though, and you won’t find these proud people dwelling on things they don’t have. That’s because they don’t need them. Not when they have Hogskin Holidays, a festival that celebrates all things swine and brings in thousands of people each year, boosting community pride far higher than any chain store could.

This year marks the 15 th annual Hogskin Holidays, which will be held April 1-8 at the Calhoun County Fairgrounds and on the courthouse square downtown. Last week, in a sure sign Hogskin Holidays is coming soon, dozens of wooden pig silhouettes were placed on the courthouse lawn advertising businesses that support the festival.

Many of Hampton’s downtown businesses are also in festival mode, with store fronts decorated in an assortment of cartoon pigs and messages welcoming visitors to town. Alma Davis, who co-chairs the Hogskin Holidays committee with James Rawls, said that the entire city transforms in anticipation of the festival.

"As you can see, we have pigs everywhere," said Davis, pointing to the white lawn pigs at the courthouse. "Everyone gets into the spirit of it. It’s an event for the entire county." Keeping with tradition, and showing their civic pride, several Hampton businesses have permanently incorporated the name "Hogskin" into their titles.

Drew Duncan, co-founder of Hogskin Graphics, helped design many of this year’s festival banners and is proud to be associated with the name Hogskin. "We named our business because of Hogskin Holidays, because it’s such a big event here," said Duncan. "We made the signs (promoting) this year’s festival, and we enjoy supporting it anyway we can."

Bobby Wolf and his wife, JoAnn, operate the Hogskin Truck Stop on U.S. 167, which has become a popular spot for travelers and locals since opening more than three years ago. Bobby Wolf said that naming his truck stop after the festival was an easy decision. "I wanted people to feel like they are part of (the festival)," he said. "Calhoun County is Hogskin County, and the festival helps businesses out around here. It’s the biggest event of the year."

But what exactly is Hogskin Holidays? And why is Calhoun County’s nickname Hogskin County? For that, one must delve deep into the area’s history for a story that comes straight out of the rich, fertile soil of the Champagnolle Creek bottomland.
It began during the Great Depression, which dealt such a severe blow to places like Calhoun County that some swear they can still feel it. Times were hard, and what little food there was – most of it livestock – was marked to ensure the rightful owners kept track of their livelihood.

Calhoun County residents let their marked hogs run though the bottomland of Champagnolle Creek so they could feed and stay healthy until time for slaughter. When they needed to round them up, all they had to do was find the hogs with the correct markings and take them back home for their families to eat.

But some residents outside the county had other plans. They often stole the pigs and skinned them in Calhoun County to avoid being caught with marked animals. They loaded the pigs onto boats and crossed the Ouachita River, leaving the skins to hang like translucent, macabre decorations on trees all along the bottomland of Calhoun County.

When they got back home, the pig thieves taunted Calhoun County residents by calling their home "Hogskin" County. This practice went on for several years, according to dozens of accounts, most of which differ in small detail.

Today, though, the name Hogskin County is said with great pride, as Rawls, who was one of the founders of the festival, explained. "When we got together in 1992 in the jury room of the courthouse to plan a festival, we wanted to give it a name that everyone knew," he said. "We wanted to turn that name (Hogskin County) into something positive. And now, it’s the most positive thing that happens here."

It’s common for class reunions to coincide with the festival, and old friends who haven’t seen each other since last year will reunite and share stories about their lives. Out-of-town family members even plan to be home just so they can attend the festival, because if they didn’t, the year just wouldn’t be the same.

"My grandchildren live in Dallas and Little Rock, and they would rather come here that weekend than anything all year long," Davis said. "That’s just the way it is."

And that’s exactly how Hampton residents want to keep it.

The real First Lady of the White House

It was a long shot. Me, a young reporter from South Arkansas e-mailing a legendary journalist like Helen Thomas. I read an article online late last month about Thomas, and it mentioned that she returns all of her e-mails. The article also listed her e-mail address, which is no secret but would have otherwise taken at least an hour to find online. So I e-mailed her, and she replied.

But before I share the e-mail with you, I want to first enlighten those who may not know who Helen Thomas is. In a word, Thomas, 86, is vivacious. She’s been a member of the White House Press Corps since November 1960, when she covered then President-elect John F. Kennedy, following him to the White House in January 1961 as a United Press International (UPI) correspondent.

Since then, she has covered every president and still sits with the White House Press Corps. Today she works for King Feature
Syndicate. If you watch or listen to White House press conferences, Thomas is the one who fires off hard-hitting, ballsy questions that no other journalist would dare touch.

To quote Thomas on why she’s so gutsy at press conferences today: “I censored myself for 50 years as a reporter. Now I wake up and ask myself, who do I hate today?”

And for that, Thomas has paid a price, at least in the current administration. Beginning in 2003, Thomas was banished to the back row during press conferences — an area for rookies and those who ask tough questions the administration doesn’t want to answer. But Thomas still holds a first row spot during briefings, which are given by the White House press secretary.

Moving Thomas to the back row also meant that a long standing White House press conference tradition died. Thomas no longer concludes press conferences with the phrase “Thank you, Mr. President,” as she had done for decades before. It seems the current administration has no time for tradition. Sad.

Just last week, though, Thomas had a chance square off with George W. Bush when he called on her for the first time in many months, although he probably regretted it afterward.
The first question Thomas posed to Bush: “Did you want to go to war with Iraq?” And then she asked, in the very blunt Helen Thomas style: “What was your reasoning was for going to war?”

To which the president replied: “No president wants war.” And after that, he side stepped her repeated charges, most likely hoping she would stop asking him questions about Iraq and why the United States went to war.

The exchange between the two seemed more like a debate than a Q and A session, which, too, has become Helen Thomas’ trademark as of late. She calls them like she sees them, and she sees Bush as one of the worst politicians this country has ever seen.

She also sees a war that seems unwinnable and wants to know the real reason why our troops are over there. So do I. It takes guts to stand up to the president of the United States like that. How many people would do that today, ask those hard-hitting questions that many Americans want answers to but will likely never get?

That’s what made me e-mail Thomas. I told her how much I admire her career and the way she stands up for her beliefs. I told her I wanted to buy her a cup of coffee for all the years she has put in reporting the news to America. This was her reply:

“Good we have a coffee date; I am happy you are a reporter and I can assure you it is the greatest profession, a way of life, but on the highest plane to seek the truth and to do a public service, keeping the people informed at low wages, long hours.
But an education every day; thanks for your kind words, helent.”

Every morning, in a coffee shop near the White House, Thomas reads the newspaper and has her daily caffeine fix. It’s my goal one day, sooner than later, to meet up with one of this country’s most legendary journalists — to talk shop and share ideas — and I’ll buy her that cuppa joe.

Arctic in trouble

In a story published Wednesday in The Washington Post, writer Doug Struck profiles a frozen area of the world known as Pangnirtun, Canada. There, just 30 miles from the Arctic Circle, lives a hunter named Noah Metuq, who can feel the Arctic – long known as an area that senses problems with the Earth before any other area can – changing.

Metuq feels the frozen tundra loosening, and the people and animals who depend on its icy conditions are experiencing a historic reshaping of their world.
The cause is global warming, and mankind’s addiction to fossil fuels is exacerbating the problem at a rapid rate.

According to Struck, fish and wildlife are following the retreating ice caps northward, away from villages that rely on them to survive. Polar bears are losing the floes they need for hunting, which could result in their extinction.

Seals, unable to find stable ice, are hauling up on islands to give birth only to have their pups die after being washed back out to sea. Robins and barn owls and hornets, previously unknown so far north, are arriving in Arctic villages to roost.

The reason this is so alarming is that people who have lived in these areas for countless generations are seeing things that have never been seen before in this part of the world.

Inuits, as they are known, inhabit Alaska, Canada, Greenland and northern Russia and are the keepers of this pristine icy land.

Enosik Nashalik, an 87-year-old resident of Pangnirtung, told The Washington Post that he didn’t know what information he could hand down to younger generations, because everything he had been taught – everything that was taught to him by his elders – was now wrong.

“There are things that all of our old oral history has never mentioned,” he told the Post. “We cannot pass on our traditional knowledge, because it is no longer reliable. Before, I could look at cloud patters, or the wind or even what stars are twinkling, and predict the weather. Now, everything is changed.”

The Inuit’s warnings were once ignored and thought of as odd stories, but now the scientific community is taking note of them. Canada’s federal weather service reported recently that this past winter has been the warmest since it began taking measurements in 1948.

Likewise, NASA has measured a meltdown of the ice sheets in Greenland and Antarctica in the past decade, and they report that many ice sheets may disappear all together in the next few decades.

And what happens when all this ice melts? Coastal cities like New Orleans, Los Angeles, New York, go under water. And perhaps El Dorado will be a coastal city one day.

The fact is our globe is warming at an alarming rate, our arctic region is slowly dying, and no one even knows about it. It’s time we became informed, because unlike other problems our society seems so wrapped up in, this one is far worse than anyone can imagine.

A true president

 I had a little fun recently wondering what it would be like if a former president took charge of the country today. I pretended Franklin D. Roosevelt, one of my personal favorite presidents, occupied the Oval Office once again. Here is what I thought he might say if he resurrected his infamous fireside chats:

"Americans, I am grateful to be back in your presence. It’s been more than 60 years since I held this office, and I hope I can give our country back to you, the American people, who have worked so hard and have been given so little.

"When I departed my office during World War II, the United States faced many hardships. We faced a war that, at times, looked unwinnable. But we never faltered.

"We knew that Adolf Hitler was the enemy to end all enemies, and that he had to be stopped. And we stopped him. We stopped the march of fascism across Europe, and we stopped the Japanese after their imperialist empire did its best to destroy our Naval fleet in Pearl Harbor.

"I was very pleased with the job that Mr. Truman did after my departure. He handled the situation quite well, I must say, but it is regrettable to think of what happened at Hiroshima and Nagasaki.Never-the-less, it had to be done.

"Today, however, we are facing just as many challenges, although different in nature. I understand that we have a war going on in the Middle East — a war that many Americans are tired of and cannot bare to think of any longer.

"Your former president, Mr. Bush, made many wrong decisions leading up to this war, but I must commend him for never straying from his plan. Although, as well all know now, it was a plan that was gravely wrong.

"Americans, I am speaking to you from the most powerful seat in the world. I am in the Oval Office, and I am once again making decisions I believe are in your best interest. I plan, starting today, a slow pullout of U.S. troops from Iraq. I also plan to organize several special units to hunt down Osama bin Laden, who, from what I understand, is this country’s real enemy, not the Iraqi insurgents.

"While I understand that many terrorists are using Iraq as a killing ground, and you can rest assured they too will be captured, I believe our nation has more pressing matters than fighting in this Iraqi quagmire.

"I firmly believe that it is of utmost importance to address key issues back in our homeland, rather than fighting a dusty, dirty war that seems to have no end.

"Americans, I plan to give you the health care that you so desperately need. Just as I did with my New Deal during the Great Depression, I plan to change the way our nation’s government works. We will no longer stand by and watch while you struggle.

"It is our job to take care of you, and it is our job to make sure your health, retirement and children are taken care of, too. I am appalled at the state of our nation. I am appalled at the poverty that seems to be rising at alarming rates. And I am appalled at the unending profits that oil companies, pharmaceutical firms and others are making at the expense of good, hardworking Americans.

"In the coming months I will introduce several plans to bring government help to everyone, especially the hurricane battered Gulf Coast. Our duties, it is now clear, are to the American people, not to foreign lands.

"To the American people I have to say that we will stand strong for you. I am your president, and I am here for you. Thank you and good night." 

You saw Jesus where?

 I’ve had it. I’m tired of hearing about people who claim to have seen holy images appear on grilled cheese sandwiches, freeway overpasses and window panes. And now, in a divine sign from above, an image of Jesus has appeared on a piece of sheet metal in Connecticut.

Come on, who really believes this stuff?

The hardware store owner who discovered the piece late last month immediately thought the image looked like Jesus, or possibly the deceased rock singer Jim Morrison of the Doors.
“I think it looks kind of groovy,” the owner told the Associated Press. “I hope it brightens people’s day.”

So where is this sign from above now? It’s on eBay. Big surprise, right? If I found something I believed was a sign from the good Lord above, my first reaction would be to put it on eBay, too. I’d take a picture of it, write a nice little synopsis, then get struck by lightening for trying to make a dime off of a message from God.

Really now, if you felt you had received a message from God, or saw an image of Jesus or some other holy figure on something in your home, would you want to put it on eBay to make a quick dime?
Obviously these people are preying (no pun intended) on the weak minded who will take any sign from above they can get.

Don’t get me wrong, I am a firm believer that God sends us signs. But I doubt that a piece of steel metal bearing a fuzzy facial-like image is actually the next burning bush.
I logged on to eBay earlier this week and looked at the so-called image of Jesus. While it does appear to be a face of some sort — if you squint long enough — it could be anyone. It could be me, or you, or your uncle Larry.

As I look around my office right now at the wood paneling, I’m picking out all sorts of images and patterns. The fact is, if you look at anything long enough, and if you want to believe it’s there, you can see any image. Remember the old children’s game that had you look at clouds and pick out a giraffe or a monkey or a car? It’s the same concept here, just in a different form.

I’m sure the guys selling this piece of sheet metal stand to make a tidy profit. As of Wednesday afternoon, with six hours left before the auction’s end, the bidding was just over $1,000. That isn’t much and doesn’t begin to approach the $10,000 or more that items like these often fetch at auction. Perhaps people are wising up to the hoaxes. I can only hope they are, at least. 

Titanic appears in Pa. woman's yard

 HARRISBURG, Pa.— Saturday morning, Tasha Bjornson made
what historians are calling a startling discovery in
her backyard in south Harrisburg: A full size replica
of the R.M.S. Titanic.

"I just can't believe it," said Bjornson, who admits
she is still in shock over the ship's presence in her
back yard. "It completely destroyed our shed, and the
neighbors have been complaining all morning for us to
get rid of it. Why the hell is this thing in my back
yard!"

The ship could be seen for several miles away, it's
smoke stacks belching black soot, and the traditional
White Star Line flag — red with a large white star
printed on it — waving on the ship's stern.

But there were no passengers on board the ghost luxury
liner, according to Harrisburg Police Department
Captain Charles Lisbon, who boarded the ship after the
department's helicopter landed on the upper deck.

"The best we can tell, this ship is totally void of
any passengers," Lisbon said. "We are securing the
area now, and as you can imagine, there are many
thousands of people swarming to catch a glimpse of
this baby."

Harrisburg emergency officials were called to the
scene shortly after the ship materialized to shut off
gas and power services to the area. The ship's massive
weight — more than 200 tons — severed dozens of
underground utility wires, according to one city
official.

Richard R. Davis, professor of maritime history at
the University of Pennsylvania, visited the site early
Monday and said that the vessel is no doubt an exact copy
of the famed Titanic, which sank in 1912 off the
coast of Newfoundland.

"This is the most astonishing discovery in the history of mankind,"
said Davis, as a local resident hammered a sign saying "Titanic-Mart" into the ground by the ship. "Nothing like this has, or will ever, happen again. To be able to study the Titanic, to see her, to touch her, I just cannot contain myself."

Since the ship is too heavy to be moved without
flooding the entire southern section of Harrisburg,
Bjornson said that she plans to keep the ship on her
property, making it a casino or perhaps a local
museum.

She has had several offers pouring in from across the
world, the most notable from the Walton family —
owners of Bentonville, Ark., based Wal-Mart — as well
as Donald Trump.

"I'm leaning toward Wal-Mart, really," said Bjornson.
"They want to turn this into the largest supercenter
in the world. But I'm putting it on eBay this
afternoon, so we will see who comes out on top." 

Honey, pass the...

 Lester Flatt could have walked through the door playing his banjo and it would have fit like a leather glove.

Perfect.

Rod Harrington, our weekend editor, pointed out something pure South Arkansas today while looking over kids' recipe entries for a contest our paper sponsored.

The main ingredient? Squirrel.

"You go out and find a squirrel, kill it, and let it set (he said "set") for 40 minutes, then you eat it." There wasn't anything in there about cooking it. Just kill the sucker, let him "set" for 40 minutes, then eat him up. Mmm Mmm. Welcome home, boys!

Now that's pure country. 

Her picture

 I wrote this a while back. I'm not going to say if it's based on anything or not, it's just something that came out of me, as things often do, and I had to write it down. Here it is:

I don’t even have a picture of her. Not a single piece of evidence that she exists. She never gave me anything tangible, but she’s taken plenty.

Her dark brown hair, streaming down her back and surrounding her face, haunts my mind. It’s dead weight inside me, like webs in the corner of an abandoned house. I don’t need her, she doesn’t need me. I know that now. I was fooled, though, like I often am, by people who pretend to care.

I know she thinks of me; I think of her. Probably too much. It’s hard not to. Why don't I have a picture of her? I don’t really need one, though, because her face is burned into my memory. No matter how old I get or how senile I become, I will always remember how seeing her face made me feel.

I saw innocence. I saw the little girl that pretended not to know how spoiled she was. Even as a young woman that innocence was there, stirring inside her as she snorted cocaine off of a wooden coffee table, the front door wide open. Sunlight streamed in.

She cared more about the damned coke than she did me. She greeted her supplier like an old friend, while I sat in the corner watching her snort her life away. $200 for a high that nearly killed her.

I sat with her, we hugged and held each other on her bed. I left. She cried. I cried. I still cry, wondering why she cast me away like a sack of garbage. Am I garbage? Why do I feel so bad?. Why do I cry? Who is this woman? And why don’t I even have a picture of her? 

Freedom of what?

 Oh, America, you are sad today, I’ll bet. A recent survey told the horrible truth about many Americans — a truth so embarrassing that some people should be hiding under their beds instead of going to work.

The McCormick Tribune Freedom Museum found that 22 percent of Americans could name all five Simpson family members (a popular cartoon sitcom), but just one in 1,000 people could name all five First Amendment freedoms. They are: Freedom of speech, press, assembly, religion and petition of redress of grievances.

Foreign lands often poke fun at Americans and our ignorance of world politics, which is a little more understandable. I could handle a survey that found most Americans couldn’t name foreign leaders in Poland or Iceland.

But when a large portion of our nation’s people can’t recite the basic freedoms given to us by our forefathers in our Constitution, that’s despicable. It’s our duty as Americans to know our government and how it operates. It’s vital that we know by heart the three branches of government — legislative, judicial and executive — and know how they operate, too.

If the folks who participated in this survey would stop watching the Simpsons long enough to study history and basic civics, maybe our country would be a better place today. After all, we are a government by the people, for the people and of the people. Stop and think about that for a minute. If you have a population base who doesn’t know its basic freedoms, and obviously cares more about what’s on the prime time lineup, then why should it surprise us that our nation is facing the problems we are today?

Many blame the president, but guess what? America elected him. It’s time for Americans to get involved in their government if they want it to change. And the first step in that involvement is learning how the government works.

I urge everyone who reads this to go to the library or log on to the Internet and look up the Constitution. Print it out, study it, and understand it. It’s our nation’s bible, and the words inside make us who we are. We can’t sit idly while only a select few take control and speak for us because we are too ignorant to speak for ourselves. Ignorance is no excuse for anything, nor should it be.

But ignorance is, in fact, bliss, as the old adage goes. It’s easier to go home at night, plop down on the couch and watch the tube. It’s easy to get lost in mindless sitcoms and game shows while the world around us is moving at full force.

I know that everyone needs relaxation time, and I’m all for that. But make time for things that are important, such as family, friends and learning about your government from the city level all the way to Washington D.C.

You pay taxes; it’s your money that funds the government. If you invested in a stock or bond, wouldn’t you want to know everything about that stock or bond? I know I would. But our government is far more important than any stock — it rules our nation.